I have massive travel anxiety. It stresses me out till the point that I cry silently on my bed imagining all possible outcomes. It’s pretty bad.
I don’t know if you guys know this, but I will be moving to Japan soon! (Not for ever). I honestly don’t know why I thought it’d be a good idea to spend a semester abroad. The emotions upon the days of my departure from the land of the sun corrupted the sanity of my thoughts. I’m gonna come back, I said. And going back I am. But at what cost? (Several thousand dollars and my sanity).
I don’t know what has me more twisted. Traveling on a plane for 12+ hours again or being on my own for about 5 months.
I am an odd human soul. I crave companionship, I need a human presence near me, but at the same time I like being on my own.
If you ask me to pick between going to a concert or having out in a museum I’d have to ask with whom. I’d go to a concert if I had someone to be with, if not I’d go to a museum. I hope I make sense.
Anyways, this massive change in my life has had me a bit frantic. I usually try not to think too much about the upcoming chapters of my life. I avoid it. So very much. Which is a problem, because the time is crawling to an end. Months became weeks. Soon to become days. To hours. These thoughts bring wrecking sensations to my skin. Picture that episode from spongebob, where we get a glimpse inside his mind and there is chaos, havoc and lots of screaming.
Becoming an adultier adult is creeping towards me.
All though, all is not lost! Because I have slowly overcome this anxiety and fear. SLOWLY
1. I plan things – by planning things the idea of being in a foreign country for long doesn’t seem as insane. I have already planned a vacation, and few sites I wanna visit and what I will be cooking for the first month.
2. I talk to friends – Sometime that has helped me a lot is talking to my friends. And by talking I freak out and ramble on to them until I exhaust myself into oblivion. It is nice exerting my feelings out to someone who is not myself or my bird. Especially when someone friends pat my head and tell me that I am a Queen and I can conquer anything. (And they’ll push into bushes anyone who hurts me.)
3. Distraction, Tea, Distraction – Moving and traveling is overwhelming in general. The act and the thought. So I keep myself distracted with activities such as working out, reading, working and reading.
4. Tell yourself everything is gonna be okay – Every night I lay in bed and remind myself that this my path and my story. These will be the interesting parts I will get to talk about, and everything will be okay.
I am very pathetic I know. But I embrace my pathetic awkwardness.
I feel like this massive leap of “I can do it” will help nudge the other dreams I have in the corner hiding, waiting to be taken a look at.
Maybe it’s just me.
Traveling is fun, adventures are fun, having your own place is fun.